You Can Find Her In The Dark
by mirrorOfsin
Summary: There is much to be said, goodbye and I'll miss you being the words on the tips of their tongues but they don't say it. Muriel and Vera. Downton Abbey X Titanic crossover. Inspired by the fact that they could have been twins.


**A/N:** Titanic X Downton Abbey - because Chloe and I thought this would be the most perfect thing ever! And also from other discussions on tumblr.

You Can Find Her In The Dark

Muriel passes her a teacup and watches her take a small sip and then a bigger one. She always did like tea, she thinks with an inward smile. She takes in her appearance, neat except for the scuffed boots which were the giveaway. She sighs and sits opposite her at the kitchen table and for a moment their sea-glass coloured eyes meet and hold. They always found that they never really had to speak to know how the other was. It was quite honestly a blessing.

"So, how much do you need?" Muriel states and Vera's eyebrow rises a little.

"Not much," she says smoothing her hands on her lap. "Just a bit to get by."

Muriel sigh is heavy this time. "You can't keep coming to me when you need something."

"Then why do you still help me out?" Vera challenges which irritates her sister.

"I'm not gonna leave you begging am I?" she huffs and narrows her eyes at Vera's smirk.

"So, when's this boat leaving?" she asks, changing the subject and moving her hand into her coat pocket to find her cigarettes.

"The tenth," Muriel replies, her heart sinking at the thought.

"Hmm," Vera lights up. "Soon then."

"Yes. And you can put that out."

Vera rolls her eyes but does as she is told. No use getting into an argument because then Muriel might actually not give her money. And she desperately needs it, she thinks as she mentally accounts for the little she has left.

"And what is it you're gonna do when you're out there?" Vera adds with a raised eyebrow. "Same as here I'm guessing."

"I might get a job," Muriel defends and Vera lets out a laugh.

"As if. You're gonna be stuck inside some house, doing as you do now, just in some other bleedin' country."

"And what are doing with your life then?" Muriel snaps at her sister.

Vera shrugs her shoulders. She doesn't know yet but something will come up. It always does.

A small silence descends between them and Vera notices how her sister's eyes seem troubled and she reached across the table to take her hand. They don't normally show their feelings much. It's just not them but now Vera knows that she needs some comfort and she's willing to give it.

"It'll be strange, without you comin' to scrounge off me," Muriel says with a tight smile gripping her sister's hand.

Vera offers her a smile back. "Guess you could still send me some?"

Muriel laughs despite herself. "You never change. And when exactly are you going to pay me back? My John will notice."

"Yeah right," Vera rolls her eyes. "And even if he did, I doubt he'd say anything about helping your sister out."

Muriel snorts and then lets her hand go and Vera moves back in her seat picking up her tea again. For a moment they both think about their lives and how this change will affect them. They don't say it but they feel a pang of sadness at the thought of not seeing one another. Muriel worries particularly over her sister. How will she cope without her? What will she do for money? And Vera thinks about her sister's loneliness, increasing day by day.

"You will write won't you?" Vera says suddenly and Muriel looks at her, her head tilted a little to the side. Vera is not one for sentimentality and neither is she but she sees the unhappiness in her twin's eyes and knows that it is mirrored in her own.

"Of course, need to know you're still alive," Muriel says and Vera nods once.

The tea is finished and they hear the chiming of the clock out in the hallway. They know John will be coming home soon and neither want to explain about Vera's visit. Muriel stands up and fetches her purse, bringing out the money she has put aside for her. As she places it on the table, Vera glances around the kitchen, suddenly interested in the furnishings. Her chest constricts with a sudden rush of emotions that she forces herself not to show. She only looks back at her sister when she pushes the money in her direction and she takes it without counting and stuffs it into her purse.

"You should go," Muriel says quietly and Vera gets to her feet still not properly looking at her. "Vera?"

"You'll be in a new country whilst I'm stuck here," she says, her voice sullen and Muriel shrugs her shoulders a little.

"I did say if you wanted to come…"

Vera huffs and then straightens, setting her shoulders and raising her chin. She won't cry because she doesn't cry about things like this but she does move to embrace her sister. Muriel clings onto her and they are suddenly transported back to their childhood, in their cold room when they hugged each other for warmth. There is much to be said, _goodbye_ and _I'll miss you_ being the words on the tips of their tongues but they don't say it. They never have but they both know each other far too well to start now.

"Take care of yourself," Muriel says with some severity in her voice and Vera gives her a small grin.

"I know how to take care of myself. Make sure you don't die of boredom," she tells her and they both smile.

Vera picks up her purse and they both exit the kitchen heading to the door. Vera heads out, a fine drizzle falls on her face and she mutters about the bloody English weather before turning to look at her sister. Muriel smiles and waves at her and there is something so very final in that gesture, that it makes Vera frown. She waves back and then leaves not knowing that she had just seen her sister for the very last time.

-/-

The letter comes from John and when she rips it open with trembling fingers, it only re-instates what she already knows.

Muriel was dead. Frozen to death in the water and for a moment the world falls into darkness.

When she opens her eyes, she is on the floor and there is a dull throbbing pain at her temple. She realises she fainted and gently reaches up to touch her head. She hisses at the pain and then her eyes rest on the letter that is by her foot. She stares at it for what must be hours and feels nothing.

She wonders if that is what death is like. Just numb to everything, cold and unmoving. It that way then they are the same.

She jolts when she feels a tear fall onto her hand and then another. She tries to stop them but the more she tries the more they come and she cannot stifle her sobs. She hasn't cried for years, not when she fought with her husband, not even when their parents died. But now she sits there in the dimly lit room crying for the one person that had ever meant anything to her. And now she wishes that she had said those words, just once for them both.

Slowly the tears subside and wearily she gets to her feet before picking up the letter. She considers burning it but then tucks it away between some other letters she keeps. She lies down on the hard bed and slowly drifts off and in the dark she sees her sister there, her sister lost at sea.

_fin._

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**A/N**: Reviews are love x


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